Beautifully twisted
by Wingless butterfly
Summary: Harry Potters world was never easy and soon he finds himself at Hogwarts a psychiatric hospital for those who have committed one dangerous actsuicide. But is it possible for this broken boy to be saved? And when he falls under the spell of a boy by the na
1. Wounds

**Beautifully twisted**

**Disclaimer: **I do not in any way own Harry potter and CO. they rightfully belong to J.K Rolling. I also do not own Impulse, which is by Ellen Hopkins. I am not as talented as these two writers.

**A/N**: Hey everyone since you guys liked my other story I decided to post something a little different than your average H.PxDM angst fic. I hope you guys like it as much as I liked writing it. Umm this fic is based loosely on a book I read by Ellen Hopkins...if you've ever read any of her books you'd know the woman is utter genius and I love her style of writing. This fic unfortunately is not written in the format she uses. It is based on the book Impulse and I loved it so much I thought I would do a fic like it even though it may not be similar in some ways but you'll see. This fic is obviously AU because it is not based on any magic at all. Ok.

**Summary: **Harry Potters world was never easy and soon he finds himself at Hogwarts a psychiatric hospital for those who have committed one dangerous act-suicide. But is it possible for this broken boy to be saved? And when he falls under the spell of a boy by the name of Draco Malfoy who is obviously in there for reasons of his own, will he finally find his sanctuary or will he only be pulled deeper into the darkness that suffocated him only so long ago? HPxDM

**Warning: **This fic is rated M for a reason. If you are not comfortable with thoughts of (or attempted) suicide, BoyXBoy love, Cutting, or just angst all together, then this is not a fic for you. So please do not read if this is not something you are comfortable with ok. Thank you.

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Chapter 1: Wounds 

Its funny how life comes at you fast.

Funnier how death stops it dead in its tracks.

The only fucked up thing about that is when some mystical force intervenes, pulls you from deaths grasp and lets you know that really it wasn't your time to die. Especially if death is the only thing you crave.

But I digress.

When I arrived the place looked like some modern type castle than a place for the insane or in my case suicidal. I wondered if in here my dreams would come true and I'd get my happily ever after... I doubted that very much. Unless of course I found some way to cut through skin until I saw that pretty red, then happily ever after's are not on my schedule.

" Lets go boy." One of the orderlies, I suppose that is what they're called, places a hand on my shoulder leading me up the steps to two tall double doors.

" Welcome to your new home kid."

I smile at that and my emerald eyes light up with amusement.

" Unless this place is death itself then it isn't my home."

I study the look on his face and I almost laugh at the disturbed glance I see but the doors suddenly opens and I am gently pulled inside. I look back once more out the double doors, See the bright sunlight, can vaguely hear the chirping of birds and I wonder when I'll be let back into hell again so that I can experience heaven.

The doors close with a resounding boom echo's against the walls.

I wonder where everyone is.

The orderly reads the look on my face as he leads me up a flight of stairs.

" Different levels go to different places this time of day...Most of the kids are either attending classes, in the rec room, or others could just be relaxing in their own rooms."

Relaxation?

Is such a thing possible here? He makes it sound as though this place were a 5 star resort, instead of a crazy place where the insane resides for their chance to escape. We finally stop in front of a door at the end of the hallway and he knocks awaiting entrance.

I wonder who we'll meet beyond the door.

"Come in."

We enter the room and I notice instantly that the room has a cozy sort of feeling to it. In all honesty I haven't felt this kind of warmth since I put metal to my chest, touched the trigger and pulled.

The orderly leads me towards the chair on the opposite of a mahogany desk. On the other side is a seemingly old man, with what appears to be silver hair and twinkling eyes behind thin spectacles.

I despise him right away but I do not show this because I may have to use him in the near future. It was quite easy to know he was the 'big man' behind this whole operation. He smiles at me warmly before pulling a file close to him that was currently lying on his desk.

" Mr. Harry Potter correct?"

I shake my head once moving dark ebony locks away from my face.

" Welcome to the Hogwarts treatment center. My name is Albus dumbledore, I'm in charge of this facility as you probably already know."

I shake my head again slumping slightly in my seat. I just want to get this over with.

" We here at the Hogwarts facility treat our patients the best we can...of course this is not the only facility we have. Here you're only allowed to stay until the age of eighteen years and if you are not cured by then...then you'll get transferred to one of the bigger treatment centers."

He stops as though for dramatic effect before going on.

"Now since you are new here you will begin at level one, that is where you start out by staying in your room twenty-four seven, food is brought to your room by one of the orderlies which, let me warn you now, will check your room every fifteen minutes to review how you are coping. This process usually takes one or two weeks. From their you will work your way up to other levels which will allow interaction with other patients, eating lunch in the lunchroom, attending classes...etc. Any questions so far?"

Sure I got a question why the hell are you talking so much? But of course I do not voice this and I shake my head no for him to continue. He looks at the papers in the folder.

" I've reviewed your case and I've decided to put you in the Gryffindor house or in your case G-1. This facility is divided into four houses. Beginning with Hugglepuff, which is for those with minor problems, Raveclaw is next, Gryffindor being third, and Slytherin which is for those who have committed serious acts against others and themselves."

He looks at me as though he's contemplating something. Then he shakes his head.

" Lets just hope you don't have to be moved to Slytherin alright Harry."

I smile at him before running a hand through my dark locks.

" I don't think I'm capable of making promises sir."

* * *

Making my way towards my new room my mind can't help but wonder back to when eternal sleep was so close within my grasp. I wonder what uncle Vernon thought when he heard I tried to kill myself- and failed. 

I should have put the gun to my head, instead of my chest where bone was an option to stop said bullet from ending a heart no longer needed. Should have worried less about scattering my brain all over the walls and worried more about getting the job done.

Instead I decided the heart would be suffice, would make it stop beating, such a thing ripped apart to make that pretty red come out. Funny how I couldn't even do that right.

We reach my room or as the orderly called it my 'home away from home.' As he opens the door a group of 'patients' are coming down the hallway all of which are wearing black slacks, white shirts, and green ties. They slow down to watch 'the new kid' I suppose...some of them even whistle. The man leading the group glares at them until they quiet down before walking again.

" Damn Slytherins." the orderly whispers before leading me inside the room.

" I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

I roll my eyes once he leaves and stare disgustingly at the room. A bed, a small window, and a wooden closet are the only things in here.

'Not so different from my old room'

Which brings me back to my suicide attempt. Would you believe the bullet hit bone leaving my heart in one lovely piece? Luck was apparently _not _with me that day. I lay on the bed caught up in my reminiscing.

Aunt petunia found me too soon, or my life would have probably ended with the loss of blood. Lying on the ground in that room, blood flowing freely from new wounds she leaned over me with a scared but disgusting look on her face. If she could she would probably beat me for messing up the carpet.

Then again that was more of uncle Vernon's job.

What she said next though was the icing on the cake.

" Shame really that you can't even do this right. Should have stuck to cutting, maybe then you would have hit the right spot."

She then went to go call 911.

I smiled before I passed out from either the pain or blood lost...at the moment I can't remember which one.

Fucked up isn't it?

* * *

**A/N:** Well this is very angst and since this is a touchy topic it's kind of hard for me to do. But other than that please Review if you have any questions, criticism, or just want to tell me if you like where this is going. Next chapter will be about the lovely Draco Malfoy and how he ended up in the treatment center. 


	2. Fragile

**Beutifully twisted**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry potter and Co. neither do I own Impulse.

**A/N:** To those of you who have reviewed thank you. I really appreciate it. Well not much more to say really so I'll get on with the fic.

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Chapter 2: Fragile 

Draco P.O.V

I just saw the new guy check in. He's tall I suppose, but not taller than me, with dark ebony locks and shocking emerald eyes. He's thin, but not so that it's unattractive, to me I think he's shaped almost like a girl.

To sum him up in one word I'd have to be fragile. Meaning he's a nutshell asking to crack.

I wonder vaguely if he's ever let a guy see that beautiful bod.

Someone nudges me in my back as were making our way back to the rec room which is closer to the slytherin department of this hell hole. No surprise to find that it was Blaise zabini.

" What do you think the new kid did to get in here?" he whispered with mischievous dark eyes.

If you've known Blaise as long as I've known him you could hear the wheels going into motion in his head. Which of course is nothing new for a sex addict like him, he see's a guy who's even remotely good looking and he wants to fuck them. Thing is this kid isn't just remotely cute.

He's beautiful.

Kind of reminds me of a porcelain doll that's even more beautiful when it's broken. I glare at him momentarily before a sneer reaches my lips.

" How the hell should I know Blaise...probably won't find out until he comes to group therapy."

I can see the smile on Blaise's lips and for some reason I want to slap the look off of his face. We make it to the rec room, where a number of people are playing games or just watching television (all rater G or PG 13 don't want to send out bad signals to the kids do we?). I find that I don't want to be there at the moment so I ask one of the orderlies to take me to my room.

As I follow him through the corridors I find myself thinking about what got him here. He doesn't look like a drug addict to me; they usually have this sickly complexion to their skin and a cold sweat on their brow. With-drawl must be a bitch.

Something that I did notice though was the dull look in eyes as bright as his, like is he has no soul inside of this shell we all refer to as our body. I wonder what complications made its way under his skin until he finally broke free...or lost it however you want to word it.

" Alright Mr.Malfoy here we are."

I'm lead into inside the room and he closes the door with a slight nod.

Back to my thoughts.

I lost my mind a while back and thing is I was one of those kids where loosing your mind wasn't even an option. But shit happens and my shit literally hit the fan. I am a Malfoy and Malfoy's don't lose anything.

Not their minds.

Not their cool.

Nothing.

We're smart, cunning, sneaky, and in control of everything. Regardless of that imagine having everyone think you had the perfect life on the outside, the perfect family, the finest designer clothes, and everything else you ever wanted.

But let me see _you _try to be perfect when on the inside your supposedly perfect home is actually hell, your perfect father and his perfect friends have their way with you almost ever night, and the only thing your mother can do is turn her silky cheek in the other direction.

Makes you wonder why I tried to kill myself by swallowing a whole bunch of pills with a swig of our finest liquor doesn't it?

You would think after all of that my parents would be the ones here instead of me...that shows how much you actually know about us Malfoy's. It's even more amazing how it all got turned around on me when truth was I was just as innocent as the next kid.

Thing was though I didn't tell the judge about what my father did to me.

So maybe that's why I'm so hard on myself in the first place. I'll tell you one thing though- when I swallowed those pills it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Flying high on cloud nine, a whirl of colors that would make even the best of artists jealous.

It was beautiful, it was dangerous, it was sinister, and I loved every minute of it. Those final moments my mind was numb, thoughts formed incoherently and I could find myself falling into a deep peaceful sleep.

So tell me why my stomach suddenly lurched and everything I had swallowed came right back up?

Lying on the ground, the acid taste of bile being the only thing I was aware of. That is until I heard my mothers' screams as she rushed by my side.

But even through my haze I noticed she didn't touch me, didn't dare allow one tear to fall...

Didn't even say she loved me.

* * *

A/N: I know this chap is a little short but my minds a little hazy right now so I'll post the next chapter tomorrow. I know what Draco did really wasn't worse than Harry's actions but why he's in slytherin will be made clear in the next chapter. Well review. 


	3. Insight

Beautifully twisted 

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry potter and Co. in anyway shape or form. I also do not own the book called Impulse written by Ellen Hopkins.

**A/N: **Thanks everyone for their reviews sorry I took so long to update but you all know how that is. From now on I will either update every day or every two days alright? Well here's chapter 3.

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Chapter 3:Insight 

Three day's of the same routine.

During the day check ups regularly, Three course meals (more like slop), and when night falls they give you pills to help you sleep, take away bad dreams, eyes closed against consciousness.

But even pills can't make me stop dreaming about _him, _Can't stop the ache in my heart because I find myself missing _him_.

It makes me hate myself for loving him in the first place.

On the fourth day something strange occurs. The orderly pokes his head through my door for the hundredth time that morning.

" Come on Potter, you just might get out of solitary confinement."

I jump out of bed with a smile on my face. Maybe there is a god after all.

When your in a room for a week straight, only getting out when you've got to go to the bathroom, it's hard not to lose your mind.

If you haven't already lost it anyway.

We make our way down the hallway and a couple of patients look my way but I disregard them and follow the orderly around the corner.

" So what's this about?" I ask walking by his side.

" Seems Dumbledore thinks your ready to move up a level but first you have to have a little chat with one of our psychologist."

I nod and walk with him the rest of the way to the room. We stop in front of a wooden door and I take a deep breath in.

"Well here goes."

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

Today is a Wednesday meaning we've got group therapy in about an hour. Truth be told I kind of like group therapy. It makes you feel like you're not the only fucked up person in our perfect world.

An orderly sticks his head through the bedroom door. He looks around for a second before his eyes fall on me.

"Where's Mr.Zabini?"

Blaise and I share a room, which sucks because they're times when I crumble in front of the guy and all he does is stare like if he gets off from my pain.

"Went to the rec room-" he gives me an impassive look, "with an orderly of course." I finish getting up from my bed. He watches my every move and when his eyes land on a particular spot below my waist I give him the coldest glare I can manage.

" W-well I'll be back in an hour to take you to group alright."

I don't even nod just turn away and begin to retrieve my clothes for the morning; the door closes quietly behind me.

Gray slacks with a plain white T-shirt; this is what we wear to group. I poke my head through the door and try to get one of the orderly's attention.

" I need to go to the washroom." I sneer giving him a cold look.

Thing about the orderlies in this facility is that they're more fucked up than some of us. Who the hell would get off fucking a bunch of crazy teens like us and it's quite obvious that we're all underage. But do you think they care?

Nope.

He leads me down to the room and nods to the other orderly who stands in here to make sure we don't off ourselves in the shower.

Which I don't even think is possible unless someone tries to commit suicide with the showerhead.

I strip quickly and go to the nearest showerhead before turning on the steaming hot water. My mind clears for a moment before the door opens once again. I sneak a peak at the intruder and my throat constricts for a moment before I hurriedly scrub at my skin.

" Morning Malfoy."

I turn my head slightly only to see a pair of sinister red eyes and locks of jet black hair.

" Morning Riddle." I whisper washing suds from my skin.

" They're finally letting me back in group therapy, should be quite interesting to say the least."

I nod remembering that slight incident. Tom had actually reached level three until he bashed Ronald Weasley's face in a couple of months ago.

I believe it was because weasley kept calling Tom 'Tommy Ritalin."(1), I think its safe to say he won't do it again but still you never know with weasley.

Things like that make you wonder how I ended up in Slytherin with a guy like Tom or even Blaise for that matter. I guess that's what persuasion from my father could do because Dumbledore never intended to put me in Slytherin.

My father I suppose just wanted to make my life alot worse.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

Dr. McGonagall is the type of woman that doesn't take any shit.

She's sitting high in her seat behind a newly polished desk, hair tight in a bun, so tight I think it magically made a few of her wrinkles disappear. She motions for me to have a seat, pushing her classes high on the bridge of her nose as she stares down at me like a bulldog.

My face pales ever so slightly. I'm not even sitting in my chair comfortably before she pounces.

" Why are you here Mr. Potter?" My gaze falters down to the black slacks I'm wearing and I pull on a single piece of dark thread. I can feel her staring at me waiting for an answer- I give her a small shrug.

" You don't know Harry? I think it's time for you to try to figure out don't you?"

I just nod once looking up slightly.

" I know you don't want to be here but it's the only way to help you. You do want help right?" Her gentle voice momentarily soothes me.

Part of me wants to tell it all but the other part say's there's no way in hell I'm going to. So Instead I give her a taste of what she wants.

" Suppose I'm here for one or two things."

She leans forward in her chair, fingers laced, eyes filled with calm ferocity. Is that even possible? Must be my morning med's talking.

" The cuts were just ways to temporarily keep the numbness away. It was the only things besides..._him _to make me feel alive."

I sigh before running a hand through my dark locks hoping that she doesn't ask about who 'he' is. But surprisingly she doesn't say a thing so I go on.

" The bullet though that is another story all together."

She stops me then and types momentarily on the lab top in front of her before asking me smaller questions to do with family and friends.

I told her my parents were dead, my guardians didn't know whether I was dead or alive even though we lived under the same roof, and friends? Who would want to be friends with an outcast like me?

She seemed to deem this enough info about me because after a look at the clock she cut our meeting short.

" Alright Mr. Potter. I think we made tons of progress. So much that I think your ready to take the next step."

I look at her expectantly.

"Welcome to level two."

* * *

A/N: Sorry I took so long to post this chapter but I was having too much fun over spring break...ok I was just too lazy to do anything over spring break so he he...yeah. Anyways guys I need some advice on a few things and I'd really appreciate it if you can tell me what you think. I was kinda stuck on whether to keep the story going only doing Harry and Draco P.O.V's or a mixture of P.O.V's and every once in a while just a regular chapter... I'm not sure though so you guys tell me what you think about that and how the stories going so far. And who could be this mysterious guy Harry keeps referring to? Hmm we'll just have to find out. 

(1): I'm not sure if I spelled Ritalin (you know the drug) right and I really don't wanna look it up so do you guys know if I spelled it the right way?


	4. Group

**Beautifully twisted**

**Disclaimer:** In no way do I own Harry potter and Co, which rightfully belongs to J.K.Rowlings. Nor do I own Impulse by Ellen Hopkins.

**A/N:** To all of you who have reviewed thank you and I hope you like this chapter ok.

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Chapter 4:The group Draco P.O.V 

Group is a tedious thing.

It's like here we want to unload but are afraid of what others and mainly ourselves are going to find if we dig to deep. There are seven of us, including Dr.Trelawny, in a close nit circle.

There's Ronald weasley who thinks the world is going to end at any moment, then there's that granger girl. If I weren't on the gay side I'd probably give her a chance. She's smart, not bad to look at... then again there is the fact that she screams at the top of her lungs at the oddest of times complaining about some monster under her bed. That's when they pull out the needles to put her in la la land. There's Blaise but we all know his issue- he uses sex like how people rely on air to breathe.

Yeah it's that bad.

There's Tom riddle who is sporting a huge grin in weasleys direction. He has the poor boy rocking back and forth in his seat. Now Tom is quite the interesting case. Seems like Tom went on a craze streak and tried to kill his whole family with a little thing called poison. Wouldn't want him cooking my food anytime soon.

Last but certainly not least is Pansy Parkinson, who's currently looking in my direction. Why is it that when girls find out your not trying to score on their team they become even more infatuated? Anyhow Pansy is what we all call the Queen of depression.

When she first arrived here she wore nothing but black. This included clothes, make up, and attitude.

Wonder what pulled her so deep under?

My gray eyes travel to the clock on the wall and I notice we're about to begin.

" Alright everyone it's time to start."

But she doesn't get to say much more because just then the door opens. Someone new steps in and I'm surprised to see jet black hair and hypnotizing emerald green eyes.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

Upon walking in the room I suddenly become numb. Why I freeze up so suddenly I'm not sure, maybe it's because everyone is looking at me, but as soon as the feeling came it went and I can once again breathe.

" Ah you must be Mr. Potter please come sit." She points to an empty seat next to a guy with blond hair and deep gray eyes. I find that, strangely I can't look away from him and yet I feel my feet moving on their own towards the group.

He looks down at the chair as though only now noticing its there before looking back up at me. Upon further inspection I see that within those gray foggy eyes is also a swirling blue. His eyes are so beautiful- he's so beautiful but..."

I shake my head as I sit next to the stranger, mind crawling within my thoughts and eyes avoiding his gaze.

" Harry you alright?" Dr. Trelawney, I believe McGonagall said her name was, voice breaks through my haze and I look up once again.

" Yes...yes I'm perfectly fine Dr. Trelawney." She seems pretty taken aback by what just happened but she says nothing about it and instead clears her throat to get the others attention. Beside me the boy shifts in his seat and I find that my eyes want to travel back to his own.

" Well-" she says pushing big round glasses up her nose. " Harry it's a pleasure to have you with us."

I don't know how to say so I just nod and look at the group of kids before me. Some of them have a welcome smile on their faces; others are assessing me from head to toe.

I find it quite unnerving.

" So who wants to begin group this session? Come on guys just because there's someone new doesn't mean anything. We're all here to help each other."

The guy next to me snorts loudly and I turn to look at him once again only to see he's smiling lightly in my direction.

Surprisingly I smile back.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

Fifty minutes later and I know a lot more about the kids in group.

Like how Ron and Hermoine are both in Gryffindor too like me, how at any moment Ron thinks the worlds going to end so hey why can't he be in control and end his own life- Pretty Ironic of him if you ask me. Hermoine who blacks out at times and see's things no one else dares to see, There's Pansy who talks about how much pain she's in mentally and just wants some peace. Then there's Tom who in my eyes is a total lunatic.

I mean he spent most of the time going into detail about the different ways when he was little, how he killed insects in his own back yard. Blaise doesn't say anything at all just keeps looking at me with this hungry gaze on his face.

Then there's Draco Malfoy. He's another story all together-

A beautiful dark fantasy...

"... Sometimes I would get so depressed that I just wanted to stay locked up in my room, laying in complete darkness. Times like those are when I felt it the worse...this pain that would course through my whole being. It was times like those when I wanted the darkness to take me away completely."

When he's finished I try to look inside his head, to see if he's treading through the same black I find myself in every time I get the urge to cut.

" How about you Harry?" How come your in a place like this?"

But it wasn't Dr. Trelawney who asked me this question; it was the broken blond behind me.

" Are you fucked up or is it just that no one understands a beautiful guy like you?"

Every one in the room cracks a smile at this even the ol' doc graces us with a nervous smile.

" Truth be told I'm both fucked up and misunderstood Potter." He doesn't say this with a bitter tone but it's light and playful, which causes a small smile to grace my own pale lips. So I shrug my shoulders cause hey why not share something with people who are equally fucked up as me.

Slowly I roll up dark sleeves to show thin red lines going up as far as the eye can see, with my other hand I lift up cloth to reveal a single gun wound in front of a still beating chest.

I smile.

" I guess this is why I'm here."

* * *

Draco's P.O.V 

' Wow.' That's the first thing my mind processes as I look up a pale and red arm. I wonder vaguely if he's sporting cuts on the other.

What surprised me most though was the bullet wound over his heart.

" Jesus Harry how did you survive that one?"

This is Ron's remark as he looks at the wounds. Harry just shrugs and pulls back down his shirt. Blaise's face drops in disappointment when Harry's' abs are removed from view. I wonder if he's heard a word we said since group started.

Poor horny Blaise.

" Cool. Why don't you tell us about the blood potter? Did it splatter on the wa-"

" Enough Tom!!"

Everyone's attention turns to Dr. Trelawney who now that I've noticed face is as white as chalk. But you would think she would want to hear this delicious piece of info.

" I think were finished for today."

Some of the kids groan and it seems Harry's a little bit entranced by the lines on his arm.

Good old memories I suppose but he looks up when everyone begins to stand, Girls and boys falling into two separate lines at the door.

" I still want to hear about that blood." Tom whispers standing a little to close behind a trembling Weasley. Harry falls to the back of the line and though I know I shouldn't I get a little too close to Harry myself.

" Your to beautiful to damage such flawless skin you know."

My fingers lightly run its way up his still half exposed arm. My breath tickles his ear and he shivers slightly.

I know what I'm doing is dangerous...Know that I'm treading in dark waters but at the moment I don't really care.

* * *

**A/N:** Well there's chapter 4 hope you guys like it. Review. 


	5. Fog

**Beautifully twisted**

**Disclaimer:** Wow...I really get tired of these. No I do not own Harry potter or Impulse...

**A/N:** Thanks again for the reviews. I'm pretty surprised I posted two chapters in one day ( Its a big deal to me well because this is the first time I've done it) So YEAH ME!! Sorry for the outburst. Ok well here's chapter 5.

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Chapter 5:Fog 

Harry P.O.V

_"Your to beautiful to damage such flawless skin."_

The words echo in my brain as I lay in bed that afternoon, dullness surrounding me and labored breathing the only thing I'm aware of. A single pill is lying next to me on the bed, when the orderly gave it to me I placed it under my tongue so I wouldn't fall under a deep sleep too early.

There are some things, dangerous thoughts that are clouding my mind every since I got back from group.

I haven't really thought about Cedric in a while. I've only seen him in midnight dreams... or nightmares since I came to this place. But now my mind is becoming hazy and through the fog I see his caring face, Can feel his sweet forbidden caress, Can hear words jumbled together...

_" I won't let you go...no one can take you from me Har... I don't understand why you... I don't want to lose you... Your to beautiful to damage such flawless skin."_

Cedric also said those words to me, not once but a lot of times. The fact that Draco said them also has me in a state of panic.

But Draco I don't want to think about him because the memories of Cedric are to powerful to ignore.

I can't believe I fell for someone like him.

My Cedric.

I would be with him now if he hadn't fallen apart. If he hadn't thought about consequences.

_"What would they say if they knew Harry?"_

At that moment though I was willing to take the risk of loving him... the one person I shouldn't have loved in the first place.

I remember the first time I spoke to him. Now I'd seen Cedric plenty of times. He ran past our house every morning around nine. That particular day I had gotten an early start on mowing the lawn when I saw him running down the street.

It never occurred to me that Cedric Diggory might not be into guys or bi-sexual even but my mind is a dangerous place and fantasy upon fantasy of disrobing him every time he ran by suggested he was. Turning off the lawn mower I ran a hand through my locks before calling out his name...

" Cedric!"

He stopped running and turned around before he looked me up and down slowly. It may have been the fact that I wasn't wearing a shirt, and regardless that it was still early in the morning, I still seemed to be sweating, the cooling drops sliding right down my chest. I guess curiosity or maybe even fascination made him run back in my direction.

I made sure then to place my hands behind my back- didn't need him to see old and new cuts sporting my wrist. Non the less he gave me a huge smile before hazel eyes looked up to meet sparkling emeralds.

" Hello Harry. How can I be of service to you on this wonderful morning?"

My head tilted to the side...

_(Through my memories I suddenly pick up the pill from my bed and swallowed it without a second thought.)_

A small smile graced my lips as I imagined my fingers running through his brown locks...

_(This is where the madness began)_

Without a second thought I let the words slip from my lips...

_(Sleep is slowly coming upon me)_

" I just wanted you to know that I find you quite beautiful."

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

I was never a really anxious person but the minutes are finally counting down to dinnertime and I find that I can hardly wait. Partially because I'm hungry, the other part because of a certain someone.

Harry.

Recently I've found out that I think about him more than I would really like to but thing is the boy is a complete mystery to me and I find that I am a very curious individual. I want to get beneath his skin, to figure him out and what better way than to get close to him?

" Ok kids. Dinner is served. Make your way down to the cafeteria."

The intercom booms down the hallways and a second or two later something bangs against the closet door. I roll my eyes and stand up leaving the room as quickly as I can because truthfully I don't want to see which orderly Blaise has placed under his spell this time and is currently fucking in the closet.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

A voice...makes its way through my dark consciousness.

"... Served. Make your way down to the cafeteria."

I slowly open my eyes only to notice the room is quite darker than when I went to sleep. How long had I been knocked out? Speaking of which who the hell is currently banging on my bedroom door?

" Harry you in their mate?"

I get up from the comfort of my sheets and go to open up the door. Ron and another boy are standing in front of me and I rub my sleepy eyes before letting out a huge yawn.

" Wha tis' it?" I ask annoyed. But this doesn't seem to faze Ron who is currently smiling brightly from ear to ear.

" Well I stay in the room two doors down and Paul- that's one of the orderlies- said I should show you how to get to the lunchroom. Oh!! And this is Neville longbottom. Neville stays in the room across from mine."

Ron stops to take a deep breath and I stare at the Neville kid.

" H-hello Harry. It's a-a P-pleasure to M-meet y-you."

Ron pats Neville's back before smiling even wider if that's possible.

" Neville here stutters a lot Harry but you'll get use to it. Now come on before all the good tables are taken and the food gets cold!"

"Thanks Ron but-"

" No buts Harry now come on lets go!"

Ron grabs my hand before pulling me from the comfort of my room and down the hall. Neville the poor fellow is trying to keep up but the poor boy keeps tripping over his own two feet. As we make our way down a flight of stairs with Ron talking animatedly of course and me only half listening he suddenly stops dead in his tracks.

" Well well if it isn't Weasley my best friend in the whole entire world."

One of the boys I believe his name is Tom begins up the flight of steps.

" R-ronald maybe W-we S-should-"

I look at all of them and it occurs to me that something is about to happen. Ron and Neville's faces are deathly pale and Tom, like the lunatic he is, is smiling from ear to ear- literally.

" Hello Tom." Ron whispers grasping my hand tightly. I wince in pain before pulling my hand from Ron's grasp.

" Oh is it Tom now weasel? He asked stepping closer. "Lat time I recall it was Tommy Rit-"

" Tom you wouldn't be trying to start another fight now would you? Heavens didn't you just get back out of juvie?" Someone drawls in an amused tone. We all turn around to see Draco Malfoy making his way down the steps.

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

" Tom you wouldn't be trying to start another fight would you? Heavens didn't you just get back out of juvie?" I ask walking down the flight of stairs. Four pairs of eyes quickly make their way towards me and I'm glad to see the color green among them.

" Well of course not Draco I was just telling Ronald here that we should all make our way to the lunch room together." Riddle raises his eyebrows at Ron as though daring the boy to object but he doesn't even make a sound.

Harry looks at everyone confused before shaking his head.

" But I thought-"

" Harry!"

He looks at me again and I smile reassuringly.

" Wouldn't want to miss dinner would you?" I ask throwing an arm casually around his shoulder walking down the steps.

Tom walks down the stairs with a nervous weasley walking behind him. Poor Neville is stuttering about one thing or another behind Harry and me.

" So how'd you like group? Are we crazy enough for you?" A smile graces those lips as we make our way across the hall.

" I suppose so ...what's with Tom and Ron? I might be out of my mind but I'm not stupid. It's quite obvious something's up with those two."

Well isn't he the perceptive one? We all make our way through the double doors and are instantly greeted by the sounds of kids chattering.

" Well Tom punched weasley's face in a couple months ago if that's what you mean."

He gives me an incredulous look and opens his mouth to say something.

" Relax Potter. It was for a reason. See Ron I suppose decided to grow some balls at the wrong time and called Riddle 'Tommy Ritalin.' I can't quite remember what brought on the argument in the first place but I do know that it was the most entertaining thing I'd ever seen."

To my surprise Harry cracks an even bigger smile.

" I suppose he deserved it then."

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

The news about Ron and Tom doesn't surprise me. Ron seems like the type to say something stupid he isn't supposed to and then gets his head bashed in because of it. The idiot. But as clueless as Ron is he's an ok guy as long as he doesn't crack any of those jokes my way.

Now we're all sitting at a table and I'm staring at my plate of food- Mac and cheese, fried chicken, and corn.

What an odd combo.

" You alright Potter?"

I find myself staring into gray eyes before slowly nodding.

" Perfectly fine."

He looks at me as though he's not sure before he continues his conversation with Tom. What the two of them are discussing I have no idea but I block them all out before looking back down at my plate.

Slowly I begin to eat what little I can trying to ignore the pounding that is slowly creeping through my brain.

' Oh god not now.'

" Draco you bastard how come you didn't wait for me?"

Blaise is standing behind Ron who is sitting directly in front of me. And I sigh in relief for the needed distraction.

" Zabini the only reason Draco ever leaves you is when- ouch!!" Tom glares at Draco while rubbing his arm but Draco innocently continues to eat his food as though nothing happened.

" Move over weasley." He doesn't even give Ron a chance to move before pushing the boy out of the way and plopping down in the seat right in front of me. Draco stiffens up a bit before dropping his spoon.

" So Harry what brings you into our happy little facility?"

My hand stops in mid air before I slowly bring it back down to my plate.

" A little too curious aren't we Blaise?" Malfoy asks shifting a little.

Ron and Neville stopped eating too to look at me. My face suddenly turns white.

" I don't think that's any of your business Blaise." I answered beginning to eat again even slower than before.

In the back of my mind I can feel the pounding rising again.

" No need to be testy Potter I was just asking a question dear. It's not everyday someone of your... status comes along. Bullet wounds and cuts? My my well weren't we busy?

I glare at him and ball my hands into fists.

" Fuck. You. Zabini."

He smiles before licking his lips.

"Gladly."

Draco gets up from his seat then and reaches across the table grabbing Blaise's shirt. The hall suddenly gets quiet, except for Tom's loud laughter as he bangs his hands on the table in excitement.

" Finally some excitement. I was wondering if you people in here had gotten soft on me." he yells almost giggling like a school girl. Why the hell were the orderlies acting like nothing was happening?

" One more fucking word Blaise and I swear on that pathetic body of yours that I will Fuck-You-Up. Do not test my patience."

Blaise's face pales and Draco sits back down calmly before picking up his spoon and continuing to eat his food.

" Bloody hell." Ron whispers to a pale Neville.

" Well what are you waiting for Harry aren't you going to eat?"

He stares at me with smoldering gray eyes and I nod once before picking up my own spoon.

It occurs to me though that the pounding has gotten worse.

* * *

A/N: Wow two chapters in one day!!! Yeah me!! And it's all thanks to me getting sick this morning and then having to stay home... So In a way I guess credit is also due to my horrible cold. he he anyway Reviews make me Happy and want to update faster and all those other good things. Who knows if I get any more reviews I just might update another chapter tonight and wouldn't that me exciting??? Well see ya guys later BYE!!! 


	6. Suffocating

**Beautifully twisted**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter and CO. or Impulse by Ellen Hopkins in any way.

**A/N:** Well I'm happy to announce chapter 6 to this wonderful fic. Oh you guys have no idea what I've got in store for the upcoming chapters but you'll just have to wait and see won't you. Anyways here's chapter 6.

* * *

Chapter 6: Suffocating 

Haryy P.O.V

I've tried my hardest to ignore, told myself that the only reason I was twisting and turning all night beneath the sheet's was because of the confrontation in the cafeteria with Blaise.

But now that it's morning I can't ignore the pounding in my head, can't ignore the tears in my eyes, can't ignore the call of the blade.

The light is slowly crawling through the blinds and I sit up in bed holding my head in my hands. I don't know how long I can ignore the urges but right now I want to cut into skin so deep that I can see the blue of veins. I want to cut out all the memories... I want to cut out all the numbing pain in my heart.

Someone knocks on my door, breaking through my trance but through the haze my mind won't quit churning.

" Potter you've got a therapy session in an hour. Dumbledore wanted me to tell you you'll be talking to another psychologist today. Dr.McGonagall is going to be doing the family therapy's today... alright?"

I nod once, my eyes never leaving the doorknob.

"Alright."

He looks at me worriedly before looking at his watch.

" Med's will be distributed in thirty minutes."

I nod again laying back down beneath the sheets. The door closes and suddenly the tears fall without warning.

I hate it when I see pictures like flicks from an old movie.

What scare's me the most though is when I can feel Cedric's body next to mine, fingers leaving trails of heat behind. Kisses sending me above the clouds but... Cedric isn't next to me, never will be again.

And I think it's slowly killing me inside.

* * *

Draco P.O.V. 

Today they tell me my parents are coming to visit.

" You've got twenty minutes to get down to McGonagall's office Malfoy."

Twenty minutes is all I've got to build back up my cold exterior? Thinking about my father seemed to build it up fast enough.

" Don't let it get to you Draco you're strong enough to handle it."

Blaise say's this to me every time I get the news of their arrival- it's no different today.

But if I'm so strong why are my palms sweating, mind going in circles, and feeling like I can't breathe as I suddenly find myself in front of McGonagalls door?

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

The meds kicked in not to long ago and is it just me or does everything look sparkly?

"Harry?"

That voice is not one I want to hear.

" Harry I'm Dr. Oliver Wood... I know changing psychologist is a bit unnerving but I assure you, you can trust me ok?"

The colors are beginning to disappear, the colors no longer sparkle, and my fingers begin to itch for something sharp.

" Ok Dr. Wood I know."

Dr. Wood is different than McGonagall a big part being that he's a guy, the other part being that he's quite young.

" How old are you Doc?" I ask tapping my fingers against my knees. He seems pretty taken a back by this but if he is he doesn't say anything about it. Instead he gives me a playful smile.

" I thought I was supposed to ask the questions potter?" he says sitting comfortably in his seat, arms reach back to rest behind locks of brown hair.

" But since you are my patient I suppose we could exchange questions one of mine for one of yours? He asks raising an eyebrow. My emerald eyes can't help but look at his lips as he talks.

Is he sure he wants to start a game?

" Sure. An answer for an answer."

He smiles again before nodding.

" Ok then. To answer your question I'm twenty-seven Mr. Potter. Now you have to answer one of mine."

And so the game begins.

"Shoot." I whisper looking into brown eyes. Brown and hazel are so close aren't they? He leans forward in his chair then, a serious look on his face and I find I don't want to play anymore.

" Cedric Diggory how old was he?"

It occurred to me then that I wouldn't get anywhere lying seeing as how he probably already knew the answer to his question.

" Cedric was a little younger than you about twenty-five years old."

I glare at him for making me reveal something not so secret but still close to my heart.

" You ever had sex with someone you weren't supposed to doc? Someone older?" I ask getting slightly agitated. He doesn't even bother to hesitate.

" Yes. When I was a little younger than you I had sex with a teacher too."

My face drops instantly and my body becomes numb.

He knew?

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

I step through the door, instantly capturing three pairs of eyes. I'm not surprised at all of the image I see, not surprised when my build up mask drops.

Mom and Dad are standing in front of the desk instead of sitting. The furniture is probably too old for their tastes. Mom's face is pale even with the make-up; her hands are nervously twisting together, gloved fingers rubbing constantly. Clothes dry-cleaned to a tee not a single wrinkle in sight, constantly looking like she'd burst into tears.

Yup not a thing has changed there.

But dad I don't even get past his cold gray eyes before I look away.

" Draco please come sit."

McGonagall no doubt feels the tension in the air as she looks between the three of us. I sit in a single seat placed in front of the desk mom on my right and dad on my left. Surprisingly I feel a hand touch my shoulders; thankfully it's my mothers' slender fingers.

" Draco dear how have things been? I've missed you so much sweetheart." Dad shifts a bit beside me and I try to calm my nerves to some degree.

" I'm fine mom, everything's fine." Fingers tighten on my shoulders tightly before the warmth slowly moves away.

" There is no need to worry Mrs.Malfoy Draco has made excellent progress since he's been here. He's doing wonderful in group therapy and-"

" I assume _Dr. McGonagall _that Draco is also doing excellent in his studies here. I expect the best from him and I must strain the fact that he must maintain a high GPA. No less than a A-average I hope."

His voice seems to drain the life out of everything in the room. Then again maybe it just drains the life out of me. I slump slightly in my seat, mouth closed shut and eyes fixed on the shiny wood. Mom's hand rests in my hair as though in a way to comfort me.

After all this time she decides to comfort me now?

" That, I'm afraid is up to Draco Mr.Malfoy. I can't make a student work. I can encourage him but the rest is up to him."

Dad turns to me then, a simple glance in my direction.

" I assume then that an A-average is what you have in your classes?"

I don't answer him right away because my mouth feels dry. My mother stops stroking my hair for a moment.

" Of course father." I whisper avoiding his gaze. I feel like a broken doll saying what is expected of me. He stands up straighter then, most than likely happy with my answer.

" Good! Well if everything is going well I expect you to be out of here soon then."

I don't even hesitate this time.

" Yes father."

McGonagall stares at me fore a moment before looking at the clock.

" Mr. Malfoy it's not up to you to tell Draco when you expect him to be out. It is up to him and the progress he has made in this facility. I would hate for you to put to much pressure on your son and destroy the progress he has made."

I can almost feel the sneer on his lips and once again the warmth of my mothers fingers leave me.

" Of course don't want to disrupt the progress he's made."

"Well it seems this meeting has ran its course. Mr., Mrs. Malfoy it was a pleasure seeing you two again."

She doesn't even hold out a hand for them to shake I guess she's used to the routine by now. My parents don't exactly shake hands with the enemy. Enemy being anyone or anything having to do with Hogwarts.

" Come Narcissas."

My mother gives me a kiss on the cheek; a weak moment of motherly affection I suppose, before following my father out the door.

McGonagall doesn't even say anything to me about the whole ordeal this happens almost every time.

" Malfoy you may go. Have a nice afternoon."

I get up and quickly flee the room mumbling a 'you too' before I make it out the door.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

How did he know?

" How did you know that? Was it something I said?"

He just shakes his head, game long forgotten as he opens his laptop.

" No it was nothing you said but Cedric did. He confessed. You tried to kill yourself Harry surely he would come forth then."

I don't believe it. Why would he do this?

" I'm sorry Harry but I didn't see us making any progress unless I told you. Now that it's out in the open I'm hoping you'll be comfortable talking about him."

No need to hide now. No need to hide anything.

" And what exactly do you want to know doc? Hmm? The way he kissed me, or touched, or moaned when I sent him to heaven with a simple caress?"

I was getting out of hand, a dull pounding had begun in the back of my head, my eyes became dull.

" Do you really want the details of what went on behind closed doors _Oliver?"_

Closed hearts.

" Yes Harry but-"

Somewhere in the room an alarm goes off.

" Seems our time is up."

Oliver reaches over to turn off the alarm but in the process of pulling his arm back he knocks over a few papers onto the ground.

" Geez I'm such a klutz Harry you can go ahead I know your dying to leave. Oh and I'm promoting you to level-"

To tell you the truth I don't even process a word he says because my eyes are twinkling silver and I can't help but think that God really is out there as I reach out to grab a revealed paperclip on his desk.

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

When I leave McGonagalls office who should I see but Harry potter leaving one of the psychologist's office.

" Hey Harry."

He looks up, heads in my direction.

" Hey Draco.

What surprises me is the dreamy look in his eyes, the grin that's plastered onto his face from ear to ear like he's just won the lottery.

Or something else.

" I guess everything went well with you then?"

He smiles even wider walking past me and up the stairs.

"Fucking fantastic," he whispers.

What I do notice though is that he's holding something tightly in the palm of his hand.

Something tells me it's basically his life wrapped around those crushing fingers.

Poor boy must be suffocating.

* * *

A/N: Oh the wonderful angst that will be coming in the up and coming chapters. Harry has finally gotten his hands on something that just may send everything really spiraling out of control. I wonder where his recent actions will take him? And poor Draco had to face his father I hope he doesn't suffer from some meltdown or something...Oh well only time will tell. Leave me some reviews and let me know what you guys think ok. Bye!! 


	7. Closer

**Beautifully twisted**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry potter & CO. or Impulse by Ellen Hopkins.

**A/N:** Really sorry for taking so long to post this but some things came up lately and I was terribly busy. So without further ado here is chapter seven!

* * *

Chapter 7:Closer 

Harry P.O.V

Sweet Sweet Sanctuary!!!

I've never felt more at peace, never felt more secure as I do now holding the object of my desire in my hand. A single paper clip curved into a rather intricate design. I unfold the clip to reveal sharp delicious edges.

It's cool and secure against my fingertips as I first test it within the palm of my hand. Not deep enough to cut but sharp enough to leave a single white line.

My bodies trembling slightly but I disregard it; my mouth is dry so I swallow. My head is pounding so I place cool metal against warm skin, right above a pale throbbing wrist. A smile is on my face as I pull straight down into a single blue vein.

The feeling that rushes through me is quite ethereal so I lift my hand and begin another cut in my skin. Red drips from a pale hand and I find I can't stop.

Right to left, up, down, vein to sweet vein. I feel so giddy that I giggle at the whole ordeal.

Red, blue, pale the colors all connect.

_'The colors all connect.'_

My minds blank just how I like it.

No more pounding.

Only sweet memories.

No more pain.

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

Control.

It's all about being in control. No one can shape your life but you. You are the one in charge; you are the one who makes things happen the way they should except...

Well what if you were never really in control of your life but someone else was.

From the minute you were born they made decisions for you, they were the ones who shaped your life, they always had the control.

" Draco please look at me."

Med's don't seem to be working fast enough, but the memories sure are.

" Draco fucking look at me please."

But I can't open my eyes If I do I'll see him.

I'll see him and I don't want to.

Curl into a ball he can't harm you then.

" I won't hurt you. I'd never hurt you."

Please don't say those words. I've always heard them- he always said them.

" Leave me alone."

A cry for help. A plea filled with anguish.

" Draco look at me."

Hands on my shoulders-hurting me.

_"You love Daddy don't you?"_

Can't fight back. Did I even want to?

" Damn it Draco open your eyes-"

Memories vanish, air enters my lungs and I open my eyes but I don't see gray I see worried light green eyes.

" Blaise?"

I look at my surroundings realizing where I am and I sigh in relief. He stands up straight and I sit up in bed running a hand through my hair.

" You were... you know having one of your episodes."

I nod throwing the rumpled sheets from around me. I hate when I'm stuck between dreamland and reality. It's like I'm awake and yet I'm not aware of my surroundings.

Blaise is the only one who's ever seen me in such a state and for that I'm thankful. He's the only one I can trust.

" You want to head down to the cafeteria they're going to call us down in a few anyway."

That sounds good right now. Get my mind off things.

" Sure lets go."

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

My head is light, clear as day; I'm flying high on cloud nine.

Evidence gone, clip put back in a safe place where no one can find it.

No one will find it.

It's sitting under the mattress deep in a hole that obviously no one knows about if they did they'd patch it up.

The intercom just went off signaling dinner so I quickly wrap up my wrist with tissue paper and slip on a long sleeved shirt. Can't have my wrist the main attention of prying eyes.

Just as I'm double-checking to make sure everything's where it should be the door opens and an orderly pokes his head through the door.

" Mr. Potter. It's come to my attention that you've been promoted to level three?"

Level three? When had I been promoted?

" Umm yeah I S-suppose."

My hand slowly snakes around my back and I know my face pales. His eyes narrow before he continues.

" Well I'm just here to tell you what that implies. It means that from now on you'll be attending classes, you'll more than likely move in with someone else who is deemed stable and the rec center is also available."

I nod once trying to calm my racing heart.

"Ok! Now get to dinner before the food turns cold." He say's leaving.

Without know I was holding it in I let out a deep breath.

* * *

Draco P.O.V. 

"I've been promoted to level three."

I look up from my plate of food, the sound of kids talking quickly rushing back to me. I hadn't even known I'd spaced out. Either way Potter slips beside me on the bench and places his tray on the table.

" Level three huh? Well about time potter. I suppose I'll be seeing you in classes then?"

He nods happily picking up his spoon.

" Yeah. He also said something about the rec center. I'm not sure where that is though."

Potters hands are moving pretty fast as he talks, Potters lips are moving pretty fast too. I wonder how they'd fit against my lips. If they'd be as sweet as they look...

" Draco you alright?"

I look up into emerald eyes and he suddenly goes completely still. Like the first time I saw him in the group therapy room.

" You're hiding something from me." I whisper reaching a hand up to remove a lock of dark hair. My fingers touch clammy flesh and I wonder why he's so pale all of a sudden. His gaze falters and he looks away from me.

"Am not."

I smile despite everything and place my hand in my lap.

" And that would make you a liar potter. I don't think it's wise to add to your list of problems do you?"

He avoids my gaze then and focuses entirely on the plate in front of him.

" It's none of your da-"

"Harry there you are! I hadn't known you'd already made it down here."

Weasley and longbottom are making there way towards us and I can't help but glare in their direction.

" Don't you have somewhere else to be weasley?"

He looks at me as though I've said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Why would I be anywhere else? Surely you don't think I'd miss dinner."

He slides into the seat right in front of me with Neville at his heels. Was Weasley really this dense?

Harry continues to eat in silence and I stare at him as though contemplating something.

" So Harry your family come to visit today?" He stays still for a moment before glancing in Ron's direction.

" No.I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet." He slowly continues to eat and weasley says something else but at the moment I'm not sure what.

It occurs to me then that Potter only has one hand visible at the moment; the other one is limply sitting in his lap. Every now and then he would ball his hand into a fist.

Well what have we here?

I quickly grab his wrist; see him wince in pain before glaring at me. Weasley and Neville are to busy goofing around to notice. I grab harder and lean in closer.

A hiss escapes his lips.

" You've been a bad boy Harry. Now what would Dumbledore do If he found out about this mishap hmm?" I sneer.

I wasn't mad at him, I don't think I could ever be mad at him, more like I was mad at myself. I knew something was up when I saw him walking out of the office earlier.

His eyes dart around the lunchroom before falling back on me.

" Draco your hurting me." he pleads trying to yank his hand away.

" Harry you alright mate?" Weasley was really starting to test my patience.

" Up Potter." I said releasing his arm. He sighs in relief when I let go before looking up at me.

" What?" he asks confused.

" I said we're leaving. Me and you need to chat-now." He stands up from his seat then and quickly apologizes to Ron before following me out the lunchroom.

I was going to get some answers and I was going to get them now.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

I dreaded his words, dreaded the look in his eyes, the disgust on his face.

" Why the hell would you do something like this?"

I wondered if he never felt like giving in again, ever felt like giving into the pain a second time.

" Of course I have Harry-Of course." I must have voiced my thoughts out loud unless he could read minds. I giggle a bit at this.

" What's so funny Potter? This isn't a joke."

A whispered voice in a dark hallway. I was leaning against a wall his hands pressed against the wall behind me. He's getting closer.

_'Don't want him to get closer.'_

" You could have done some serious damage... I could have lost you."

This brings me back to reality and suddenly I can't control the beat of my heart. My eyes focus on blond hair and stormy gray eyes, pale skin and soft lips.

This is Draco not Cedric. Draco could never be Cedric.

" What do you care? If I off myself today or die tomorrow what difference does it make? What does it matter to you?"

His expression quickly changes from angry to worried to sad to annoyed. I've never seen someone's emotions change so much in such little time.

I find it rather intriguing.

" Your right why the fuck should I care about someone who doesn't care about themselves?"

Did he really just say that?

" You are such a fucking hypocrite. Do you not realize your in the same place I am Malfoy! Surely you didn't get here by caring about yourself. You did the same fucking thing I did- same fucking thing everyone else did. You've no-"

" Shut the hell up!" My voice stops abruptly as his hand covers my mouth and the other grabs my arm.

" I know I've done the same thing and for my own reasons no less but as much as I want to give in Harry I don't. And this-"

He holds up my arm yanking down the sleeve to reveal thin lines going up and down my arm.

"You can't give in like this... not like this. Believe me when I say I know it's hard but...I care about you. Only you because I can see how broken you are inside. I can look in your eyes and see. It's like I'm staring at myself."

He stares into my eyes then and I can see everything. The hurt and the pain, the anger and the unshed tears, the agony, the confusion. I can feel myself falling in headfirst even if I don't want to.

Falling within a replica of myself.

He removes his hand from my mouth only to trail smooth fingers across my lips; his other hand is gently tracing the cuts with hesitant fingertips.

No words are spoken at the moment, No words are needed as his fingers trail down to my neck. My eyes flutter shut when he presses against me. I find that I'm not aware of anything as those fingers make patterns against delicate skin.

" Do you understand now?" He whispers in an almost pleading voice.

I understand perfectly.

Right?

" I can't lose you Harry. Your the only thing I've got left."

Don't say that. You can't depend on me. I only cause pain.

" Say something to me. Anything."

I'm aware of his lips only a breath away from mine, can feel the need radiating off his pores.

Oh God I need him too. Need him more than anything else right now.

I open my eyes.

" It'll never work Draco. We're both broken...so broken."

He kisses my cheeks, my neck, and every inch of my face.

" We'll help each other Harry. Think of it as an exchange. Life for a life. I'll watch over you, you watch over me."

I closed my eyes again grabbing onto him.

Life for a life. Draco in exchange for Cedric? What an interesting prospect.

We're both broken It could never work but...

" Ok Draco."

He sighs contently before kissing me.

When his lips finally touch mine I'm surprised at what I find there.

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

Kissing Harry was like sipping from the most delicate wine. Forbidden and yet sweet to taste, my head was light and giddy from the taste of him. My fingers itched to touch every part of him. But I knew I couldn't -not yet.

The risk of getting caught was too high. So instead I drank him all in.

Lips on my lips tongue on my tongue.

Everything just felt right.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

Tangled up in each other's arms desperate for release. What type of release I'm not sure myself. Sexual, emotional, physical it's all a meaningless blur.

What I do know is that Draco's kiss is so much different from Cedric's.

With Draco I can feel every emotion, every fear, every need and want.

And it takes me high.

Higher than any place I've ever been before.

And it's beautiful, it's magical, it was sinister.

And it was pulling us closer to the...unknown.

* * *

A/N: Well sorry I took so long to post this chapter but I was so busy I couldn't find the time to finish it. Hopefully I won't be so busy this week and I'll get another chapter posted. Well can't wait for you guys to see what's going to happen next chapter... I think you'll be quite surprised!! Bye!!!! 


	8. Damage

**Beautifully twisted**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry potter & CO. or Impulse by Ellen Hopkins.

**A/N:** Not much to say but everyone thank you for your reviews and I hope you guys like this chapter. I think this is one of my fav's. Anyway here's chapter eight.

* * *

Chapter 8: Damage 

Harry P.O.V

I walk into the room, walls a blinding white, bed a soft cloud.

I sit on the edge gathering my thoughts, hold in the urge to scream. I try my hardest to forget Draco's words and remember them at the same time.

_" I care about you."_

But why should he care for someone like me?

I remember his lip's on mine, the way they made me feel... alive. I hadn't felt like that since Cedric looked into my eyes and swore everything would be all right.

Reassurance.

Finality.

Thing about that is with Cedric things ended up bad and I ended up here. I can't help but wonder if things with Draco will have a worse punishment than this. Cedric clouds my mind again and I jump up from my bed and pace the floor-mind twisting and turning with uncertain thoughts.

Love, hate, jealousy, ultimate devotion.

It's like I still want to protect Cedric, want to protect all the secrets we shared but there's the fact that he told one of the biggest secrets of all about our love affair. I wonder if what I did caused him to hurt as much as he hurt me. It would only be fair for him to feel the same pain I did when things ended so suddenly between us.

The memories stir sadness deeper than any I've felt before. It occurs to me then that not to long ago all I wanted to do was get out of this hellhole and crawl on my knees back to Cedric. I had planned on how I'd make him feel-Guilty. I would show him the scar on my chest where a hole once was.

But now after hearing about his confession I don't think he'd want to see me. Wouldn't answer the phone if I called or open the door when I knocked. That means the only thing I would have to look forward to is going home to a family who doesn't want me and becoming invisible once again.

I'm not ready for that.

This realization makes my stomach turn and my eyes water.

So what were my options?

_" We'll help each other Harry..."_

Draco's words echoed in my head before taking me over completely.

Was Draco Malfoy the only thing I had left? Thing's don't make sense anymore.

Then again... I don't think they made sense in the first place.

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

Monday mornings are always the worse. Classes, group therapy and groggy minds all in one? What a bad way to start the morning.

" Alright class. Today we'll be doing something a little different. I wanted to explore-"

The door opens then and in walks Harry out of breath, cheeks pink, hair more unruly then usual. If I didn't know any better I'd say he'd just been shagged but that isn't possible.

" Ah you must be Mr. Potter. Come in and find a seat. Please try not to be late next time dear."

He nods and looks around the room before his eyes land on me. As though unsure of his actions he makes his way towards me and sits in the empty seat right in front of me.

" Potter you weren't doing anything naughty were you?" Tom asks leaning towards Harry.

Before I can say anything though Harry laugh's non-chalantly waving away the concept.

" Well of course not! Not unless it's with Draco."

My eyes grow wide at his suggestive tone, Tom cracks up saying something along the lines of ' fucking fantastic' and Blaise just snorts behind me.

" Gentlemen!"

Tom quiets down a little trying to control himself while Pomfrey glares at all of us.

" Now like I was saying I wanted to try something a little different today. Who can tell me something about some famous poets?"

No one raises his or her hand and I'm not at all surprised. Not many people are very enthusiastic when it comes to participating in class.

Pomfrey roll's her eyes before turning towards the board. While she writs down a couple of names I find myself leaning towards dark locks.

" What's with you this morning? I've hardly ever seen you this...upbeat."

He turns to me slightly with a grin on his face.

" Guess I have you to thank for that."

I want to ask him what he means by that when the door slowly opens.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

You ever felt like one minute your mind is clear and the next it was clouded and distorted?

You ever felt like one minute you could breathe and the next you were gasping for air?

That is how I felt when I saw who had walked through the door.

Mrs. Pomfrey turns from the board, looks at the newcomer, and smiles wildly.

" Ah Mr. Sykes I didn't know you were still coming. Dumbledore told me you had cancelled at the last moment."

His blue eyes travel around the room and I know he's looking for me.

I just know it.

And it seems I'm right because when his eyes land on mine they light up instantly.

" Yes well something did come up but the more I thought about it the more I realized I couldn't possibly pass up and opportunity such as this one."

He stares at me the whole time and I find I can't look away from him. Not when he was linked to me in so many heart retching ways.

Draco leans in closer to me and Tom is looking back and forth between Richard Sykes and me.

" Do you know him?" Draco's voice is hesitant and dark. I know he's trying to figure out this piece to a very complicated puzzle. I can't answer him because my mouth is too dry and I don't thin I can open my mouth to speak either way. So I just shake my head no before looking down at the paper and pencil down on my desk.

" Class this is Mr. Sykes. He's an English teacher at Dermount high, which is a couple of miles from here. Mr. Sykes was highly recommended to come share with us the art behind expressing ourselves through poetry. I'm sure you will all find this lesson quite interesting."

I'm not sure what happens after that but I'm aware of his voice booming through my ears, my throat constricting painfully, and my hands begin to shake slightly. After a while his voice comes back into focus.

" Now I'd like you all to write a poem about your happiest and most precious memory. Don't be afraid to express yourselves with words."

He stops speaking after that to exchange words with Pomfrey. People pick up pencils then and I can see them thinking of things to write about, wondering if there was even a happy memory somewhere lodged in their brain.

I don't even search for such a memory. There was none there to begin with.

" Harry are you alright?" Draco's voice whispers in my ear and I'm about to answer but then...

" Harry. I see you haven't written anything yet."

That voice cuts through me like a knife and I slowly look up to see blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I don't even answer, just stare at him with wide eyes. He leans in closer then, until bright blue level with emerald green.

" Shame you ended up in a place like this Harry. Poor Wood. I went to his house not to long ago you know, seeing as how he was fired from his job because of your little stunt. He'll be lucky if he ever teaches again in this country. He was so distraught now that everyone in the whole school knows what happened between you two. Shame really you would think he'd keep such a precious secret. Oh but don't worry I didn't let our little secret slip and I expect you not to either."

He stands up fully then, rests a hand on top of my head.

" Keep up the good work." His voice is dripping with sarcasm.

The minute he walks away, the pencil I didn't know I was gripping breaks in half.

" Harry what did he say?"

Suddenly my hands begin to shake like an earthquake. The pieces fall from my hands onto the ground and everyone begins to stare. I bend to pick up the pieces but I can't, my body isn't cooperating with my brain or is it that my brain isn't cooperating with my body?

" Harry are you alright?"

Mrs. Pomfrey gets up from her seat but not as quickly as Draco reaches my side.

" Harry damn it what's wrong?"

Draco looks at me with terrifies gray eyes and it occurs to me that by the look on his face, I must look worse than I feel. Ron comes up then and it's more than I can take.

The three of them talking at the same time makes my brain hurt and I'm suddenly dizzy. My body feels as though it's shutting down and acid begins to rise in my chest.

I jump up from my seat and I push past all of them.

" I have to go to the bathroom."

I run from the room, down the hall and into the bathroom.

I burst through the stall door, kneel over the toilet bowl and puke up all the memories.

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

" Oh dare I hope he's ok. Do you think it had something to do with the lesson?"

His words; I forgot what his name was 'Mr. Sykes', brings me back to reality and I turn on him quickly.

" What did you say to him?"

He gives me an innocent look and I want to punch him in his face for whatever he did.

" I don't know what you mean. All I did was give him a few suggestions. A little... inspiration."

I grab out for him but Blaise quickly grabs me from behind restraining me from doing anything.

" Draco It won't do any good. Come on calm down."

Pomfrey is already calling someone down here and with a growl I pull my arm away from his grasp.

" Fine, whatever."

Just then an orderly comes in the room, points a finger in my direction.

" Come along Mr. Malfoy."

I glare in his direction but follow him nonetheless and into the hallway.

" You know they're going to trip about this... I thought you were over making trouble in class Malfoy."

I ball my hand into a fist, the image of Harry looking so scared and helpless tattooed in my brain.

I don't answer him.

I'm to worried about what the hell just took place.

* * *

Harry P.O.V 

Stomach empty of all things. Thoughts weighing me down. Surprisingly no one has retrieved me from the confines of my room yet and for that I'm thankful.

I'm sitting on the cold floor, knees up to my chest, eyes closed tight against the world.

_"...Don't worry I didn't let our little secret slip."_

Little secret?

It was never a little secret. Tears spring from my eyes when memories send shivers throughout my body and I can't breathe.

I suddenly felt like I was going to die.

I crawled over to the mattress wiped the sweat from my brow and the tears from my eyes. My chest felt heavy.

I broke down completely.

Quickly I grabbed the clip from under the mattress and didn't even wait to slash away at my skin.

Arms, legs, chest, nowhere was left untouched. Blood poured from open wounds, veins bled profusely.

I was trying to find release, grab back reality, and touch some piece of sanity. But sanity was long gone and all I felt was pain, all I felt was fear.

So I threw the paperclip across the room, grabbed a lock full of black hair and screamed.

* * *

Draco P.O.V 

At first I wasn't sure if I were hearing things.

Could I be dreaming? Was I dreaming?

But then it got louder, filled more with anguish and pain before rising higher. My feet stopped, head turned and before I heard the pounding in my ears I heard the orderly whisper a single word.

" Shit."

He runs down the hall grabbing his communicator.

" Malfoy move your ass I'm not-"

But he doesn't have to say anything else because now I'm running too. Running as fast as I can.

" I need assistance now down by the Gryffindor rooms. Shit! I believe its Harry Potters room."

My heart skips a beat and my face pales. Dear God Harry what did you do?

When I reach the door the screaming abruptly stops and the orderly wastes no time opening the door.

If I didn't have control over myself I would have probably screamed myself.

Harry was sitting in a corner of the room, rocking back and forth, eyes wide and distant. Blood was dripping from different areas of his body- Arms, legs, neck. I wanted to hold him and punch him at the same time.

Just when I'm about to rush to his side four orderlies rush in.

" Jesus someone call the doctor down here."

They make their way over to him and I follow. As I get closer his eyes dart over to mine and his breathing slows down a little, eyes searching mine for something before he looks away.

" Draco Malfoy, Cedric Diggory... D-draco what do I do? Cedric isn't here, never was here but I want him I need him. I need him...need them both. Don't you understand?" he asks an orderly.

He repeats this over and over again, tears falling from his eyes.

Just then the doctor arrives, pushing everyone out of the way.

McGonagall rushes in then along with Dumbledore. She rests a hand on my shoulder, pulls me from the room.

" Draco I'm sorry you had to witness this... So very sorry. Why don't you come down to my office and tell me what happened."

Dumbledore comes out then, a thoughtful look on his face.

" Minerva you can question Draco another time. Right now I need him in my office. Draco can you follow me please?"

Do I have a choice?

But I follow quietly, face blank and expressionless on the outside.

On the inside though my mind is going haywire. Images of him broken, and feeling as though at any moment I'd loose my own mind.

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A/N: Hope you guys found this chapter interesting. Please leave reviews. Bye!! 


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